By Dr. Dominique Carson, LMP, H.C.
Throughout the 1980s, 1990s, and 2000s, many women, particularly those in demanding fields like entertainment, consciously delayed starting a family to prioritize their careers. Women entertainers such as Janet Jackson, Da Brat, Eve, Halle Berry, Angela Bassett, or Mariah Carey had children after the age of 35 because they had to make pragmatic decisions about motherhood. Some women entertainers, like PHM’s winter cover
“Queen of House” Crystal Waters, say they chose motherhood early but felt the need to keep their family life private, from fear of jeopardizing their career momentum or public image.
While society may not always agree with the personal choices made by women regarding motherhood, a deeper understanding revealed itself behind those decisions.The industry's demanding pace and the perceived loss of marketability associated with having children often forced a difficult choice between professional ambition and personal life milestones.
But, yet women are still chastised for not having children! Despite the various reasons—be they career-focused, financial, a matter of personal readiness, or simply the lack of desire—women continue to face intense scrutiny and societal pressure in 2026 for choosing not to have children or for delaying motherhood.
This persistent cultural expectation creates a double standard, where a woman's value is still frequently, and unjustly, linked to her reproductive choices and maternal status, regardless of her achievements or contributions in other areas of life.
Questions like “Do you want kids?” or “Don’t wait too long” are often casually directed at women without children—but their impact can be anything but casual. What may seem like harmless conversation can create a steady undercurrent of pressure, leaving some women feeling scrutinized, judged, or even incomplete. This persistent focus on motherhood as a defining milestone places an unfair weight on personal choices.
According to sought-after psychologist and author Dr. Eugena Griffin, there remains a deeply rooted and outdated belief that a woman’s primary purpose is to have children. That narrative continues to shape societal perceptions, often framing childless women as less fulfilled—while ignoring the many meaningful, purposeful lives built outside of parenthood.
What’s frequently overlooked are the diverse and deeply personal reasons behind a woman’s choice or circumstance. Whether it’s intentional, influenced by fertility challenges, financial considerations, career ambitions, or even environmental concerns, the decision not to have children is far more complex than it’s often portrayed. Reducing it to a shortcoming not only dismisses those realities—it diminishes the full spectrum of what fulfillment can truly look like.
Preferred Health Magazine sat down with Dr. Eugena Griffin for an in-depth conversation that sheds light on the complex realities and societal pressures faced by individuals who choose not to have children.
Preferred Health Magazine: Why do women who are child-free by choice, in your opinion, encounter significantly more mental health challenges than women who have children?
Dr. Eugena Griffin: I would have to say because of their careers; there is a subset of women. We chose to focus on our careers versus other societal expectations and those expectations were also different from our parents and grandparents.
Depending on the career you have, it can be stressful in itself —but the at the same time, you have this career-oriented stigma because people are comparing themselves to your life.
I would have to say the difference in our approach to life often stems directly from the nature of our careers.
There is a distinct and growing subset of modern women—particularly those in high-demand, professional fields—who have consciously chosen to prioritize and focus on their careers over traditional societal expectations. These expectations, it must be noted, are radically different from those that shaped the lives of our parents and certainly our grandparents. The current generation of career-focused women faces a unique duality. On the one hand, the chosen career path is often inherently stressful; demanding long hours, intense intellectual rigor, and constant professional development. This stress is compounded by the external pressure of a "career-oriented stigma."
This stigma arises because, in a world saturated with social media and accessible data, people are inevitably and constantly comparing their own lives, achievements, and perceived success against the highly visible life you've constructed. This scrutiny creates a significant emotional burden, as the choice to pursue a demanding career is often misinterpreted as a rejection of more conventional fulfillment, adding a layer of social complexity to an already challenging professional life.
PHM: Is the personal bias surrounding women not having children more a reflection of our cultural norms and expectations?
Dr.Griffin: Society often imposes a certain rigid emphasis on what women "should" be doing, particularly concerning life milestones tied to age. There is a deeply rooted, almost 'old school' mentality that suggests a woman who is not pursuing motherhood—or hasn't had a baby—by the age of 35 is somehow off track. This societal pressure can be profoundly frustrating for women who are actively trying to balance a demanding career with the prospect of motherhood.
The journey is far from easy, as the demands of professional life—especially depending on the occupation and lifestyle—often conflict with biological and personal timelines. As a result, society perpetuates these often unrealistic and demanding expectations for where a woman's focus should lie. When women do not conform to these traditional expectations, they frequently become subject to insidious workplace biases.
For instance, the assumption is often made that women who are "childless" or "childfree" are available to do all the overtime or take on the most demanding projects simply because they "don't have kids." This completely ignores the reality that childfree women have complex, rich lives outside of work, including partners, family obligations, personal pursuits, and the fundamental right to a work-life balance that is not defined solely by parental status. The bias fundamentally equates the absence of children with an absence of a life outside of professional duties.
PHM: What drives the assumption that women who choose not to have children will ultimately regret their choice?
Dr.Griffin: If someone takes that angle, it’s their perspective but everyone is different. People make assumptions based on their experiences and what they received from those experiences. It’s humanly biased because there are women who do not have regrets because they were able vto move and go as they please! So, again, everyone is different and it’s foolish when people make assumptions.
PHM: How are Millennials and succeeding generations reshaping the understanding of motherhood and personal achievement?
Dr.Griffin: I believe so because many of us are not believing in society saying what we should do about our bodies and defining our own journey, not just in motherhood but in life. I think that our generation,and definitely the ones that come behind us in their 20s, are creating a new narrative, because women in their 40s are having babies without freezing their eggs and fertility treatments.
Like I always tell people too, that whole biological clock is ticking, was a phrase written in 1800 —but people really don't study the history to remember that people were dying so early that people weren't living past 20 years old and that’s pushing the age. So now you have many of us who are living close to 100 so it's very possible that your biological clock didn’t tick yet.
I think society needs to continue to learn and explore and take a step back on judging, assuming, and putting everybody together as one label because at the end of the day everyone is different and their life experiences.
PHM: For women who are either not yet ready to have children or are unable to conceive,
what advice do you offer on managing external criticism regarding their childless status?
Dr. Griffin: My best advice is something that I even do for myself: don't surround yourself with people who have something negative to say about women who are past 30 or 35, who don't have children yet. And I say 'yet' because some of us have it on our radar, but just wanted to make sure certain things were put in place. You must have a supportive circle from friends to family to your gynecologist. Be mindful to support the energy and mindset you want to keep.
I can't stand the statements, “Oh, you’re waiting too long” or “How much longer?” because it’s disrespectful. First of all, you don’t know if this person tried to have children, so you want to be considerate and sensitive about what you say to people. Then, we also have to think about the men as well, like what’s going on or what’s wrong with their sperm? We don't talk about men's deficiencies because society is one-sided and everything is on the woman, but I think the millennials, our generation, are changing the narrative around women’s personal fulfillment when it comes to children.
Dr. Eugena Griffin is a licensed clinical psychologist, researcher, and Associate Professor of Psychology at The City University of New York, where she has spent over 15 years educating and mentoring a diverse student population. She earned her Bachelor of Science in General Psychology from Morgan State University and her Ph.D. in Clinical-Community Psychology from the University of South Carolina, with a research focus on coping responses to racial stress among African American adults. Licensed in New York since 2010, Dr. Griffin provides comprehensive mental health services to underserved children, adolescents, and adults. She is also the author of three impactful books—Letters to the Black Community, The Steps I Took, and her latest, Enough is Enough (2024)—all centered on education, empowerment, and advancing mental health awareness within the Black community. tx4creatingchange.com
