Montgomery Frazier and Ben Mindich enjoying a day in the Hamptons.
Photo by Luciana Pampalone
By Denise Pereau
The stories of souls lost to some form of Alzheimer's or Dementia could circumnavigate the globe many times. And by 2060, those stories are set to escalate, impacting nearly triple the number of Americans affected today. The National Institute of Health has predicted up to 16 million people serving as caretakers will themselves be afflicted. Combined, these numbers will translate to epidemic proportions never seen before, making it all the more important to raise awareness now.
On July 10, 2024, the Mayo Clinic reported that Scientists believe the causes of Alzheimer's and Dementia are rooted in a combination of factors ranging from genetics, lifestyle, environmental factors, and a variety of associated diseases that cause brain damage typified by Cognitive and Psychological changes. There is hope that newly approved drugs, advanced testing, and increasing knowledge about living with these diseases may improve patient's lives.
As reported in the September 2024 AARP Bulletin, Kisluna is one of the first brand-name medications approved to reduce the rate of cognitive and functional decline in mild cognitive impairment and mild dementia stages of Alzheimer's disease, according to Teresa Buracchio, an FDA Director working in the Center for Drug Evaluation.
Facing facts, are we ready to commit to caring for a loved one stricken with both insurmountable memory loss and the loss of bodily function? What about making future provisions for our personal health care should Dementia or Alzheimer's claim us victim? Will we even be able to afford it? And where can we turn for support?
Montgomery Frazier and Ben Mindich's story is a story of love and devotion currently amplifying the messaging of CaringKind, New York City's leading expert on Alzheimer's and Dementia, providing the assistance needed by families and friends caring for loved ones suffering from these debilitating illnesses.
Married for close to eight years, they once celebrated a lifestyle synonymous with the creative landscaping of Art and Fashion in NYC. Montgomery, the former MTV Director of Fashion, and Ben, a top-tier purveyor of Fine Jewelry at Saks Fifth Avenue, have taken to battle since Ben's diagnosis of Lewy Body Dementia with CaringKind at their side.
The mission of CaringKind is to create, deliver, and promote comprehensive and compassionate care and support services for individuals and families affected by Alzheimer's disease and related dementias, and to eliminate Alzheimer's disease through the advancement of research. They strive to achieve their mission by providing programs and services or individuals with dementia, their families, and professional caregivers, increasing public awareness, collaborating with research centers, and informing public policy through advocacy.
"This disease is very democratic and totally non-discriminatory," says Montgomery. "It doesn't care about race, gender, or whether you're rich or poor. Once the disease starts to progress, it feels like you're losing everything. I got a crash course in the behaviors that go with it during on-the-job training for a job I never thought I'd have."
As Ben's full-time caregiver, Montgomery describes with frustration some of the everyday challenges accompanying the couple's new reality. "Everything has changed. His personal hygiene is something I have to look after now. He hides things but can't remember where. He needs to have a steadying hand just to walk. And his imagination is in over-drive. It takes constant reassurance to make him feel safe in our home."
He further explains, "When Ben was diagnosed, it was like being blitzkrieged and crawling out of the rubble. Our world was turned upside down. But we've found one of the most important aspects of staying positive is continuing to live life instead of living the disease. Keeping a good mental attitude is everything, but sometimes I just fall apart. Socializing is very important too, but of course, there are limitations at times."
To make matters worse, legislation addressing the financial needs of caregivers must be drafted. Montgomery's situation is fraught with tension and worry after having quit his job to care for his husband, Ben full-time with no compensation. Although some state organizations are offering financial assistance to care-takers, the question is, how much and for how long?
And where does one turn when the answer is, 'Sorry we can't help you'?
Recanting tales of days once occupied with fashion events and global travels, Montgomery cites that Ben is, was, and always will be his life. Montgomery's ability to fuse pragmatism with the creative process drives him to create lemonade out of lemons. He says, "I've been able to leverage my knowledge of fashion design into a unique and creative e-commerce enterprise, which was first suggested to me by Dr. Steven Victor. I had no idea how to get an e-commerce website going, but I persevered, and it's gaining traction. I'm currently designing a line of affordable clothing and accessories with purpose, called BenMo.2.0, which ultimately through sales, helps others. It's given me a real sense of pride and accomplishment."
Montgomery and Ben's relationship with CaringKind has become their greatest asset for resources, including sourcing dementia care specialists, trusted medical information, reliable in-home health care professionals, support groups, and education. "We attended one of their forums recently where experts disseminated multiple layers of information that would have been difficult to navigate without skilled guidance," Montgomery explained. "It was dispensed in an elegant and meaningful way that gave us, well, me, I should say, confidence in how we're handling everything from doctor's appointments to financial planning. They go above and beyond. And now I'm happy to say I've found a way to give back to them."
Montgomery revels, "I'm excited to share that several of my designs can be purchased through the CaringKind Shop for Our Cause website. For every item sold, 20% of the sales from that particular collection featured on BenMo.2.0 will be donated to CaringKind in perpetuity.
"My designs are intentionally made of bright and colorful patterns, making people feel happy and alive. The designs are practical, utilitarian, and chic. No matter where we go, whenever we wear my designs, people stop us to ask where they can find our ensembles, and that's the greatest compliment of all!"
To learn more, please go to www.caringkindnyc.com and to shop Montgomery's clothing line with a purpose, visit https://ben-mo-2-0.com/.